Today someone told me that I need to seek Jesus and I wondered from where? Is he in hiding that I need to seek him out? As far as I understand about the bible, God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are all with me as I walk, sit, make love or sleep. I was made in ‘his’ image damnit! The bible also says I have the choice to do good or bad and my argument is the word choice! Why must I go to church to prove that I have Jesus or be a heterosexual woman to prove that I have God? If I choose to be a good person by my standards how does that affect how you live your life? Shouldn’t I as a human being also classified as a woman be able to choose if I will worship or not, be married, to a man or not?
It is a constant effort for me as a woman and queer at that, to fight off the clutches of patriarchy that are constantly trying to find their way up my vagina and straight to my head. The notion that I can be free and whole is but a myth that has outlived many great women that have come before me. I have to remind myself constantly that I only have one life and I will live it to my satisfaction. But…
What about my sisters out there without the information that I have? That are constantly being told, “Usadaro! Mukadzi haaite izvozvo?” what about my sister who knows she would rather cut her hair but can’t seem to do that because someone she holds dearly wants her to look presentable so that she can get a good husband? Do good husbands come from looks or good husbands come because the man in question has his own standards and you connect with that person and both of you want nothing else but to spend the rest of your lives together?
Why can’t women support each other when a sister, aunt or mother is being harassed by men? Is it that we do not know that we can? Don’t we have the power to choose that enough is enough? Can we not choose who will stand in office for us, about us and our collective issues? I think we can choose to be the head of our selves even if the world sees us as the tail to every animal. Harsh? I’ll let you decide.
Yesterday a colleague said they decided or rather I’ll they say they said they chose to be selfish and that is a value that is commonly taken to be a bad value but, is it? I want the women of the world to choose to be selfish, selfish with their hearts, selfish with their vaginas and selfish with their many skills and emotions that the world takes advantage of and for granted because they have the freedom to choose choices that will ultimately make them happy, vibrant and whole individuals.